We’ve all seen them, both in our high schools and in the media. Cliques of both boys and girls. Shows and books like Gossip Girl, The A-Listand movies like Mean Girls revolve around this phenomenon that is all too real in high schools across the country.
Belonging to a clique is based on shared values, and these values are usually superficial things – how you look, what clothes you wear, and undying devotion to the clique’s “leader.”
Exclusion and rejection from these cliques is extremely painful and difficult to deal with. Sometimes it makes it hard to even go to school. But there is good news for us. Jesus says in Matthew in Matthew 6: 19-21, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
If our “treasure” is belonging to a clique in school and keeping up with that group, that is where our heart is – and it will be constantly disappointed and frustrated. God loves us for who we are, and striving to love and accept others unconditionally as he does puts our “treasure in heaven,” where we will be ultimately satisfied. As difficult as it is to do, we need to remind ourselves that our value isn’t in how others see us, or following the spoken or unspoken “rules” of a clique. Our value comes from God, who created us, loves us as our creation, and accepts us no matter how we look, how much money we have, or what clothes we wear.
It is very hard to remember this during day-to-day life at school. Sometimes God seems so far away when we are dealing with drama and feelings of rejection. But when we turn to him, he listens. He can heal and change us from past hurts or things we’ve done to hurt others. Only he can show us how to really love ourselves.